Don't talk to kids

 Don’t Talk to Kids

 

Don’t talk to kids as if they were children.   They don’t like it and you will be thought to be lacking in respect in their minds.  Children are quite remarkable in so many ways.   One is that they are hardwired with a BS meter.   They know when a person is pandering to them.  This meter begins to lose its effectiveness as we age.

The trick to speaking with kids is to speak to them as you would to an adult.   Of course, you need to filter for content, but you also need to be as truthful as possible.

Students in the lowest reading group know they are in the lowest reading group regardless of what we name that group.  So just call the group by the name of the book they are reading or the skill set on which they are working.

Avoid using language that isn’t true.   If a loved one is dying and the chances of recovery are slim, make sure the child knows that the person is very sick and might not get well.  If the religious belief system offers the hope of a heaven, then you can say the person might be going to heaven soon.

If a child asks the reason for a specific rule, give them the real reason not a made up one.   For example, our school has a rule that from middle school onward, boys may not wear sweatpants or other athletic wear to school.  When asked, we don’t soft peddle the reason.   Adolescent boys have involuntary erections that are plainly visible in soft pants and not so much in jeans or other fly front pants.   Boys might be initially embarrassed by the reason but they get it and appreciate the honesty.

Unlike adults, kids can take the truth and don’t appreciate cover up.  As we grow older, we hide from the truth.  We will tell another adult something is very attractive even when the little voice in our head says otherwise.   On the other hand, a child will flat out say “I don’t like that”.  

It is also true that children are not ready for some content.  It is perfectly ok to say, I can’t explain that now or I will tell you more when you are older.  Will some kids tell you they are ready now- definitely.  But it’s also ok to taking the responsibility of the adult and say you are the adult and you disagree.

I was babysitting a child and we were picking a movie to watch.  He selected one for “mature adults only”.  I told him, no his mom had rules and I would obey those rules.  He asked if the issue was sex.   I said probably.  Then he told me I didn’t need to worry because he knew all there was to know about sex.   He was 12 at the time, I didn’t know whether to be sad for him or really worried.