Birds, Bees & Disabilities

 Birds, Bees and Disabilities

 

People with disabilities learn sex ed in classes just like everyone else.  That’s enough-right?  Well not exactly.  There are multiple wrinkles to the needed sex ed for folks with disabilities.

Planned Parenthood of Orange and San Bernadino Counties has created a six- session curriculum called “Equal Voices” that teaches people about sexually transmitted diseases, birth control, consent in a relationship and the perils of online dating and predatory relationships.

Many people with disabilities are naïve when it comes to relationships.  Even when they get a lot of love from family and friends, an individual may strongly want to bond with a partner. This need makes them very easy targets for predatory relationships.

Because people with disabilities usually have fewer sexual relationships, they lack the experience of being able to tell how sincere the other person is.  People with disabilities need to know enough about themselves to understand their own personal boundaries so they can tell their partners which behaviors are ok and which behaviors make them feel uncomfortable.

Sadly, some people with disabilities feel grateful for any partner/sexual relationship so they are afraid to say “no” for fear this will be their one and only chance for a partner relationship.  Families who work out ways for their offspring to live independently in group homes or supported apartments, don’t include advice on sexual relationships now that their children are living outside of the family home. Living independently will include dating and perhaps bringing someone home.  People with disabilities are often seen as asexual by the non-disabled community.  That is not the situation at all and explains why these individuals are such easy prey for those who would take advantage.  

It is also true that individuals with physical disabilities may need alternative methods for achieving sexual satisfaction.   Able bodied individuals generally have not thought of what those alternative methods might be.

Sex for people with disabilities begins with self-respect and self-appreciation so that people with disabilities can enter into relationships on an equal level playing field and not one of gratitude and thankfulness which can make the individual easy pickings for an unbalanced predatory relationship.