Please do not talk to my child

Please do not talk with my child…

Please do not talk with my child about the death of George Floyd or the protest marches going on across our country and the world.  Please do not talk with my child about his reading problems.  Please do not talk with my child about the varying views of Donald Trump.  Please do not talk with my child about anything upsetting or controversial  because my child with disabilities does not know about any of these things and we are trying to protect him.

We are keeping our child inside an opaque bubble.  Inside this bubble life is grand.  Our child cannot see out and nothing upsetting can get in.   Inside this bubble our child does not experience failure.  Inside the bubble we never lose.  She can become anything she wants to be, we never tell her that she can’t be a surgeon, a fashion model or president.  We don’t want to disappoint her.  Inside the bubble all of life is grand.  Our child has a disability and that is bad enough so we do not allow in any discussions or information that would further upset him.

This bubble is located on Fantasy Island.

No child, with or without a disability, can be protected from the world we live in.  Social media prevents that protection if it ever were possible or even a good idea.  Long ago some people believed that sex education would cause promiscuity.   No child of color can be protected from the ignorance that is racism.  We want to believe that knowledge creates danger.

In fact just the opposite is true.  Our children with disabilities are a part OF the world, not apart FROM the world and that is the way we should want it.   The truth can be a burden; it can make us sad or disappointed; but it can also give us the strength to cope with the realities of our life.  It can energize us to understand others and ourselves.

Unfortunately, racism is part of our society.  So is discrimination against people with disabilities.  We can’t hide from either one.  Neither can those of us who are people of color or people with disabilities discard those traits as we would an itchy sweater that brings us discomfort or that has worn out its usefulness.  We need to learn to live with that.  There are many things any person can’t be.   Short people are not going to be professional basketball players.   People with limited academic ability are not going to graduate school.  

Our children with disabilities need guidance to live outside the bubble.  They may need life outside the bubble to be explained to them.   The world is challenging and as we have seen in the last few months, some times more challenging than others.  But we cannot run from that and we cannot shield our children from those challenges either.  If we do not talk with our children about these challenges, absolutely someone else will and we may like that even less.